Broken Heart Emoji

Human beings are stretched too thin

She reaches for the book on the top shelf

her hands and her pride held high above her head

 

Sweet surrender Don’t shoot Don’t shoot

The sternum makes a loud, decisive “pop.”

A release of air, and her arms fall

 

Is this where the threads holding it all together finally snap?

where the aorta prominently leans to the left

in the broken heart emoji

 

Like an iceberg that exits from Antarctica,

A break. There is a family of penguins on the mainland

warm, bellies full of food, together.

 

There is the lone penguin hitching a ride on the drifting iceberg

waving its wing as the current moves it out to sea

except it’s not a cartoon and you are the penguin.

 

Where does it hurt, and why?

Here, she taps her chest- and I don’t know.

Plant the flag on the left side

 

Of the broken heart emoji

There is a lone penguin on an iceberg

holding the flag, shooting up the flares

 

Nodding, this right here is the spot

the rescue mission is looking for

where the heart still beats

 

 

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3!

Very Light, No Sugar is celebrating its third blogoversary!

Thanks to those from all over the world (99 countries!) who have read my website over the past 3 years. How humbling to see that our words are able to reach so far, and that we remain unified in our mission to kick diabetes to the curb.

This year provided different avenues of healthcare advocacy for VLNS.

Reese joined our ranks!

The Coffee Dates interview series was a big hit, and our strong resolve to make insulin accessible and affordable was a highlight topic.

I am grateful to have traveled to Indy to participate in Lilly’s insulin access workshop at their corporate headquarters in April.  (Yes, I still intend to blog on this; yes, I’ve drafted the blog many times, in my head and on paper; yes, I have disclosures: Lilly covered my travel, lodging, and meals.)  More to follow, but briefly: It meant a lot to me to see the makers of and the history behind insulin firsthand, and to be able to advocate at that level for a better diabetes world.

Also new this year, VLNS has dabbled in No Rules (free verse) Poetry.  Poetry is fluid; it is not always autobiographical; it allows us to explore beyond the usual confines of writing. I am super excited for my tickets to see Neil Hilborn during his upcoming, mostly-sold-out U.S. tour!  Mental health and poetry- these are a few of my fav-o-rite things right now, and no one does them better than Neil.

On that note, I believe strongly that sometimes our best advocacy is to simply be honest- even brutally so. Do I have regrets about blogging? Frankly, yes.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have been so corny when first starting out in the DOC. (“We are diabetes warriors, waging a cliche battle, we will overcome, ahhh!”).

A hard lesson in reality this year is that sometimes, no matter how tough your armor, diabetes and other stuff still hurt like hell and feel like losing more than winning. Occasionally, I wish I could crawl back under my little rock and regain my privacy and my life pre-blog. Or that there was a non-live-tweeting-your-emotional-rollercoaster space where one could simply shout at the wall.

There are a lot of asks in advocacy, and it is hard to say no. But advocacy needs a better balance- taking our time (and having our time respected) when experiencing too much at once.

No matter what, I will always be appreciative of this website and its following. And I hope year #4 is productive and meaningful for all of us.

Cheers!

-Ally

 

VeryLightNoSugar_Logo_Final_3

 

Tire Pressure

My head hurts

The ache has been there

for a long time now

My heart hurts

The ache has been there

even longer

 

When I tried to voice this

out loud, the words

hovered in-between

the air and my tonsils

like this:

 

“I don’t feel well.

I’ve felt this way for

awhile.”  (Forever).

 

“Let me check the

air pressure of

your car tires

before you drive

away,” he said.

“They’re fine.”

“I’ll check anyway.”

 

As if the quick fix

we’re all looking for

could be quantified by

pounds per square inch,

like a car tire or

the DNA of a human being.

 

Where is the Emotional Bacitracin?

To refill our souls the way

the air plumps up the tires,

so that they can traverse the

great expanse of life

leaving their mark in

the fullest possible way.